I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
