so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I could fuck to npr.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
