I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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