We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize