U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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