these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
