I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.