Plan B is the new Plan A
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
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Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day