AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
