So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
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If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
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You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas