Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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