Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Barsexuality is the new black.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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