Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
