You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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