Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
