No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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