I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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