She is in my trunk
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
