I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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