So drunk its hurt
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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