I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
