it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
