I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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