Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
