No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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