its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
