That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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