If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I've blown a few things in my day
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
