She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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