Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
