I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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