Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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