I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
sarcasm needs its own font
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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