Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize