I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
