im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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