you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
