At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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