you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
