But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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