It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
