singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
