2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
