I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
