Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
