She announced her abortion via fbk
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
