i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
