When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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