Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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