yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
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I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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