also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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