my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
