Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
