He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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