im drinking this country out of the recession.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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