I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This gyro tastes like lonliness
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The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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