Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
