i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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