Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
