i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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