No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
