I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
