Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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