Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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