So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
