Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
