paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
