you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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