I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
