Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Someone signed my nipple.
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