My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
