google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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