my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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