man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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