4 words: hood of his car
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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