apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Drunk is a universal language darling
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