I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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